im still standing Strong

timecheck 1:41pm..by now im sure everybody are enjoying with thier beloved family & relatives..

chatting & having fun..eating various kind of foods..yummy yum..

most of all,all are aftering for 'Duit Raya'..haha..suke korang..

hmm..while typing,i can hear small childrens playing & making noise..they seem to be having so much fun unlike me..

oh my,u bet im jealous..yes i am..still ive to face it..i know this is just a test for me & my family..but of cos not a test for my Fucking stepdad..

to all my friends once again Selamat Hari Raya..im sorry if ive been hurting u peeps all this while..maaf zahir batin :)

& peeps im sorry but i dont think u can come over to my crib..i tanak korang dtg but den takde duit raye..mcm not nice like that..

i hope u guys understand my situation right now..once again im sorry..

and to Love i harap u enjoy dengan family u & sedara-mara..happy celebrating :)

dont worry about me k..walaupun i bersedih di Hari Raya pertama,i harap ure not..

till here..............

-nor irshada binte adnan

akuu puase full lar gee.!!

muakakakaka.! hepy perh.! hahak.!

to all muslims  especially my Dear Friends of 4N2/4N3 Selamat Hari Raya.!

may you guys enjoy aight.! & best of luck for your O levels.! strive high yaw.!

be happy & endure.! takmo sad like me :)

so basically i have not been updating my blog regularly for some reasons. .so-so recap okey. .

everything was ok for me. .still , unexpected things do happened. .

like finally mum already delivered safely on the 02 of september 2009. .its a baby girl. .name dont asked okey ?

relationship with Love , as per normal. . but wth nak step baik only. .whatever la eh. .as your own wish. .

stepdad as usual not working ,but stepping like he's working. .wth he's just waiting for the baby bonus. .fucking jerk. .

> JUST A TYPICAL USELESS JUNK

here i am crying my heart out..asking myself if it is for real..why must i am the one who faces this thing.? who should i put my trust on.? God pretty please answer my questions..i need your guidance..show me the light of truth..dont let me be the next victim..i dont wish my life to be fool around..i know this is just a test for me,but please dont let me go through the hard times anymore..im beat & im done..please answer me dear God..is he telling me the truth.? or was it just his ex who wants to be a destroyer of our Love Passion..why must it be a sudden.? why not earlier.? tell me if he's cheating me about his past life..even if he did,tell me that he has change and being trueful towards me..i dont want to live my life with someone who cheats on me..im scared,i really do..i just need someone to hear me out & support me..i dont want to lose him..im just so loving him..im not letting him go..however,what if he really cheated on me.? what should i do.? should i forgive him or should i just leave him.? we've come this far..september 5th will mark our 7months annivesary..been together with lots of obstacles,ups & down..never i dream to end it..oh my...God please tell me boifriend doesnt cheat on me..please tell me he's telling the truth..please tell me that his ex is trying to break us apart..God please answer me..dont let me be the next girl who's going to get hurt..

im beat..whats got into me lately.? im just not being myself..why must i lie to myself.? should i let this feelings linger in me all the way.?

am i too harsh or is it 'people/s' are just being bunch of @*&^%..i dont deserve to live my life..its just hopeless & unpredictable..

whats got into them anyway..is it so hard to consider one's feeling.? must we always do the sacrificing.? like what are we.? your servant.?

questions here & there..it makes me sick..like as if it will change..

• firstly,dont make any promises to me if you think you're gona break it..
• honesty is what i expect,like people always says,its the Best policy..
• dont try to make things hard for me cos im through..
• soul search your perception if you really wants to change..
• do it cos of your ownself,not me..
• dont make me like your part time entertainer..
• dont mess with me cos i hate that..
• lastly,im a girl who finishes where she starts..

gd aftanun to all..

so afta 'days' of dissapearance..i kinda feel abit 'ok' lar..ive noting in mind rite now..

so jus a nrml post 4 a dae..jus 2 kip it rollin ya noe..yes i miss Love but somehow..................nvm..

wel aniwae,zuzu tnx fer d advice..atlst ade jugak org yg stil cares 4 me :) tnx alot beb..

i want my old family back..i really do..i missed my dad lots n tons.. i do hate my stepdad..he's such a jerk,unreasonable..i hate him inside and outside.. call me cruel..you bet,you've no idea what my family and i been through.. he's so heartless..he cheated my family and he's such an animal.. im scared if this goes on..soon there will be a new person in my family.. yes,my stepbro/sis..im happy but at the same time im not.. happy cos like finally i will have someone that i can spend with.. well a bro/sis is what i have been wanting for.. the thing is,im sad cos he/she wil grow up by not having a father's love.. im really hoping it will be a boy..if it's a girl,gosh it will be hard.. never i wanted to live my life like this..never thought.. never ever in my whole life,im desperate like this.. only God knows..every night i pray real hard that baby will bring us,family a good fortune.. i cant stand any longer..i knew this would happened and it does.. i miss my teen life..i wish im now studying preparing for my O levels.. O levels is what i wanted since i was in primary school.. but i sacrificed it..im so stupid..i regretted..ive let Mr Nahar down..im sorry cikgu.. then,when i think back,somehow i didnt regret fully cos if i were to continue to sec5 with my family's state.. i must have suffer alots..i mean it..surely my studies will get affected.. im really stress,i dont know what should i do..sometimes i feel like running away.. friends..how do you guys define the word 'friends'.. were they there for you when you're in need.? do they even try to understand you.? i guess people's are right..friends will be by your side during happy moments.. besides that,they will just back off..such a True Friends they are.. i have always be there for my friends..i took a risk for them.. i avoid my family because of them..friends are always my First Priority.. i gave my money to them when they need it...countless.. i didnt ask for much but a sincere Friendship.. but now when im in need,family at a harsh state..friends just meant nothing to me.. so many payments not been settle yet..no money to even to cook.. how sad it is..im not asking for sympathy..i just want to let it out.. it has been lingering on me since like decade.. i may seem happy and free but im not.. everynight i cry without fail..please God,i want my old fam back.. my stepdad is the firestarter..hell with him.. now he's in jail cos of child's maintenance fee.. no work no money no food..like what,never once he gave us money okey.. pity mum,pregnant..lots to say but i guess this will do for now.. p/s:sorry for the emo post..i have nobody to share except Love..but ive troubled him alot.. b thanks for everything..i owe you alot dear..i love you sayang..

hola amigo.!! im bck.!! okeyy s eu noe,ive oredy moved frm blogger 2 onsugar..

guess its beta here..nutin mch hepens 2dae..so nw im feelin kinda bored..

nutink 2 do..wil b mitin Love 2mrw arnd 8pm at bns..nak go mkn la esk..

haha..okeyy dat is it 4 2dae..toodles..

bby imysm.!! here's to you